THE CHALLENGE OF UNEMPLOYMENT

In recent times the unemployment rate in Nigeria has become really alarming ,it is now put at about 80% ,true or false the rate of unemployment is terrifying. In the 21st century everyone wants a blue collar job and parents further exacerbate the situation by making their wards and children focus solely on formal education. People parents usually invest a large amount of money to send their children to school and the children if they are lucky to graduate spend year’s job hunting with no jobs available. We have over qualified people manning menial or very junior positions in all kinds of establishments.The situation is even worse in Northern Nigeria due to new wine being put in old bottles ,Northerners have refused to accept that there has been a paradigm shift,most Northerners blame the lack of progress in the region on the fact that the leadership of the country is not from their region ,human beings generally forget things easily, the North was in control of the country for years but the level of development  was nothing to write home about.

Nigerians generally abandoned labour with the flow of oil from the Niger delta region,farming was abandoned, craftsmen abandoned their craft. Every one wants to be a contractor or be in the oil business.Another reason people aim for office jobs is the opportunity to defraud their places of work commiting corporate armed robbery using pens instead of guns stealing from more people with less effort and manpower.The media is awash with stories of Government employees and political office holders subverting state resources,with the creation of the EFCC the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission we have seen Governors, members of the National assembly, heads of banks even a former Inspector General of police prosecuted . Those apprehended form less than 2% of the corporate armed robbers on d streets, what actually happens in our offices daily is worse from procurement personnel, clerks, accounts officers etc. In Kano state about 8000 ghost workers were discovered, while in Kaduna state 118 million is lost to payment of ghost workers monthly. Many people are looking for an easy way out to survive that is why we have internet scams; yahoo-yahoo, advanced fee fraud better known as 419, armed robbery and kidnapping on the increase.

 Some time ago a graduate serving his National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) program in Kaduna was in a taxi travelling from Kano to Kaduna when armed robbers stopped them, all passengers were ordered out of the vehicle and forced to lie down on the side of the road on their stomachs. The robbers collected all the cash and valuables on the passengers but the poor youth corps member (better known as corper) had very little money. He was afraid he would be shot for having no money and emptied his pockets for the robbers to see, luckily for him one of the robbers saw the corpers  NYSC identification card that is what saved the poor boys life the robbers picked up the id card and asked him where he was posted and how much his allowance was, he answered them in fear and they laughed calling him a poor boy, they told him they were all graduates who had finished school years ago but the lack of employment opportunities in the country had made them turn to robbery. Lack of employment and gaining employment or being chosen for political appointment are not excuses for stealing peoples money either directly or indirectly, stealing is stealing in whatever form.

In as much as Government has failed to provide a conducive environment for economic growth in the country; Citizens have a responsibility to try and create something to survive on or that would be a means of survival for others. Lack of motorable roads, pipe borne water, electricity, a good railway system and corruption have been used for too long as excuses for our underdevelopment. Other countries have the same challenges and still achieve a lot more than Nigeria has. We have an over abundance of man power, what we lack are ideas, the mentality to think out of the box and create ways out of the rut we are currently in. Formal education is currently over rated, what our people need is skills acquisition, the ability to turn whatever they have to their advantage.

I have not exonerated Government as it needs to live up to its responsibility for the provision of basic amenities to enhance the life of its citizens, but Nigerians need to put more faith in themselves and their abilities.

IS DIVORCE THE ANSWER?

 IS DIVORCE THE ANSWER

If you think choosing a life partner and getting married is a hard decision to make you have not tried divorce,getting a divorce is an extremely hard decision to make as it doesnt just affect you it has far reaching effects some felt years after the divorce justified or not.

As is the tradition with old friends when they meet after some time my friend

Noami not her real name and i were catching up on our lives and activities and of course  those of our familes and friends .We were childhood friends the kind that know you better than your parents or spouse .We were the same tribe and language our parents were friends,who had attended the same schools,we had also attended the same schools,married the same year ,had our 1st sons the same year went into marriage as 2nd wives,i married a divorcee she had to cope with a 1st wife.we lived 15 mins away from each other and were  there for each other during some really trying times

Naomi had come across some good fortune and i was ecstatic with joy for her, her husband had finally bought her a new car after 14years of marriage,she was also ready to start a new business.her marriage was stronger than it had ever been,her children were hale and hearty she had reached a level where she could ignore her husbands other mischievous family.life was good and she was contented.this was not the naomi of the last decade who was frazzled,frustrated and a shadow of my childhood friend

I had reached the level of contentment she was now reaching much earlier and today we were just so happy for each other,we had taken different routes to get to where we were now she had persevered in her marriage i had to get thru a divorce and second marriage to reach that level.my marriage was good and strong,my kids were good healthy and smart,i had a good job and was doing what i loved developmental work and writing.

We were rich in heart and spirit and had a zeal for life.none of us could boast of having 1000 naira in our bank account on this particular day but we were content.

We had been through some really trying times but at this point in our lives the waters were calm and tranquil.

I have always believed in removing the smot from my eye before removing the log from someone elses eye.Naomi and i had another close friend whose marriage was on the rocks.Bolas marriage where do i start ok she had a degree but her womanising,arrogant husband did not believe in wives working,he was a multi millionaire but his wives were permanently cash strapped,she had inlaws that were impossible to deal with malicious and vindictive.Her co wives so difficult to live with i feared for my body each time i visited their house one of the cowives was aggressive.Her children were bullied incessantly by their step siblings.her life was no fun she was permanently miserable and visiting her was always depressing.

Over the years we had formed a kind of support group for each other ,we had 3 other friends in our support group and ironically all were now doing well in their lives except Bola,we were all worried about her but what could we do now that we hadnt done over the last 10years?

Naomis solution Bola should leave the marriage as their was a complete breakdown of the marriage in her view.This was not a new solution Bola had left the marriage several times but had always come back,what was different now was the fact that the husband wanted her to leave and she was saying no.

Her reason she had wasted 10 years on a miserable marriage so she wasnt going to give him the satisfaction of leaving.

2. She didnt trust her childrens welfare in the hands of the other wives.Personally i felt she had nothing to fall back on and was afraid of the unknown.This happens to everyone; men and women,i battled with the fear of change in my marriage too before i finally took the leap.Nothing ventured, nothing gained, the uncertainty and clinging on to bad relationships is amplified when the woman has children and has no source of income and cannot return to her parents.

Culture and tradition does not aid matters as divorce is not wanted in any culture.

I once met a lady from the eastern parts of Nigeria at a conference in lagos  who while discusssing the issue of broken marriages told me that hausa women were lucky as the process of divorce was easier and the stigma less than in Igbo land.I had always assumed things were easier for our Igbo sisters but by the time she explained i didnt envy them.upon my return to kaduna i was approached by an igbo woman who claimed her husband was trying to kill her,upon interviewing the husband counter allegations started flying,based on the knowledge gleaned from my discussions with the lady in lagos advising this second lady was easy i referred her to a lawyer and the police.I was not going to wait for one of the couple to kill the other.

Recently the internet was awash with the story of Titi who was killed by her husband in Lagos.Why breakdown of the marriage.

Back to the issue of Bola divorce may or may not be the answer.If not for the fact that Bola is a very religious person and murder a mortal sin,her husband would have been long dead.What i do think is that she needs a change of environment to assess things.She is so psychologically traumatised that logic defies her.in her present state of mind her current reasoning is not tenable.

A young man once brought me a book he had written titled I hate divorce,i was in court at the time and there were about 10 people with us ,i read the title and asked him if he was married he said no,he was in his early twenties and didnt seem to have a girlfriend.We talked for awhile and i learnt he was close to his mother and also close to the church .This informed his view of divorce.It took

me sometime to explain to him that divorce is not necessarily a bad thing.It depends on the causes, the parties and the end result one mans meat really is another mans poison. Advice to couples let divorce be the last resort after every other option has failed.