THE CHALLENGE OF UNEMPLOYMENT

In recent times the unemployment rate in Nigeria has become really alarming ,it is now put at about 80% ,true or false the rate of unemployment is terrifying. In the 21st century everyone wants a blue collar job and parents further exacerbate the situation by making their wards and children focus solely on formal education. People parents usually invest a large amount of money to send their children to school and the children if they are lucky to graduate spend year’s job hunting with no jobs available. We have over qualified people manning menial or very junior positions in all kinds of establishments.The situation is even worse in Northern Nigeria due to new wine being put in old bottles ,Northerners have refused to accept that there has been a paradigm shift,most Northerners blame the lack of progress in the region on the fact that the leadership of the country is not from their region ,human beings generally forget things easily, the North was in control of the country for years but the level of development  was nothing to write home about.

Nigerians generally abandoned labour with the flow of oil from the Niger delta region,farming was abandoned, craftsmen abandoned their craft. Every one wants to be a contractor or be in the oil business.Another reason people aim for office jobs is the opportunity to defraud their places of work commiting corporate armed robbery using pens instead of guns stealing from more people with less effort and manpower.The media is awash with stories of Government employees and political office holders subverting state resources,with the creation of the EFCC the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission we have seen Governors, members of the National assembly, heads of banks even a former Inspector General of police prosecuted . Those apprehended form less than 2% of the corporate armed robbers on d streets, what actually happens in our offices daily is worse from procurement personnel, clerks, accounts officers etc. In Kano state about 8000 ghost workers were discovered, while in Kaduna state 118 million is lost to payment of ghost workers monthly. Many people are looking for an easy way out to survive that is why we have internet scams; yahoo-yahoo, advanced fee fraud better known as 419, armed robbery and kidnapping on the increase.

 Some time ago a graduate serving his National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) program in Kaduna was in a taxi travelling from Kano to Kaduna when armed robbers stopped them, all passengers were ordered out of the vehicle and forced to lie down on the side of the road on their stomachs. The robbers collected all the cash and valuables on the passengers but the poor youth corps member (better known as corper) had very little money. He was afraid he would be shot for having no money and emptied his pockets for the robbers to see, luckily for him one of the robbers saw the corpers  NYSC identification card that is what saved the poor boys life the robbers picked up the id card and asked him where he was posted and how much his allowance was, he answered them in fear and they laughed calling him a poor boy, they told him they were all graduates who had finished school years ago but the lack of employment opportunities in the country had made them turn to robbery. Lack of employment and gaining employment or being chosen for political appointment are not excuses for stealing peoples money either directly or indirectly, stealing is stealing in whatever form.

In as much as Government has failed to provide a conducive environment for economic growth in the country; Citizens have a responsibility to try and create something to survive on or that would be a means of survival for others. Lack of motorable roads, pipe borne water, electricity, a good railway system and corruption have been used for too long as excuses for our underdevelopment. Other countries have the same challenges and still achieve a lot more than Nigeria has. We have an over abundance of man power, what we lack are ideas, the mentality to think out of the box and create ways out of the rut we are currently in. Formal education is currently over rated, what our people need is skills acquisition, the ability to turn whatever they have to their advantage.

I have not exonerated Government as it needs to live up to its responsibility for the provision of basic amenities to enhance the life of its citizens, but Nigerians need to put more faith in themselves and their abilities.

KE WACCE CE. (WHO ARE YOU?)

“Ke wacce ce?Ke din banza! kina mace ki ce za ki gaya min abun da zan yi, ko ya kamata in yi? Kin fara hauka ne?Uban ki ma bai isa ya gaya min abun da zan yi ba balantana ke,sha sha sha, sakarya kawai, daba.”

Wannan kadan na dauko daga cikin shariar wani aure da aka yi a gaba na.Mata ce ta ba wa mijin ta shawara akan yan da zai rika tafiyar da harkokin sa na kasuwan ci tunda kowa ya san yau da wuya komai yayi tsamari a kasar.Da mijin ya tashi zagi ,mahaifinta ma sai da aka zage shi bai ji ba bai gani ba. Wannan shi ne Nasara ke kira abusive relationship wato dangantaka da ake yi wa cin mutunci ko cin zarafi.Me ke kawo cin zarafi tsakanin maaurata?Ina neman Karin bayani da haske dan mu samu mu fahimci wannan mumunar dabiar ta wasu maza da mata a gidajen su domin kokarin magance shi.

IS DIVORCE THE ANSWER?

 IS DIVORCE THE ANSWER

If you think choosing a life partner and getting married is a hard decision to make you have not tried divorce,getting a divorce is an extremely hard decision to make as it doesnt just affect you it has far reaching effects some felt years after the divorce justified or not.

As is the tradition with old friends when they meet after some time my friend

Noami not her real name and i were catching up on our lives and activities and of course  those of our familes and friends .We were childhood friends the kind that know you better than your parents or spouse .We were the same tribe and language our parents were friends,who had attended the same schools,we had also attended the same schools,married the same year ,had our 1st sons the same year went into marriage as 2nd wives,i married a divorcee she had to cope with a 1st wife.we lived 15 mins away from each other and were  there for each other during some really trying times

Naomi had come across some good fortune and i was ecstatic with joy for her, her husband had finally bought her a new car after 14years of marriage,she was also ready to start a new business.her marriage was stronger than it had ever been,her children were hale and hearty she had reached a level where she could ignore her husbands other mischievous family.life was good and she was contented.this was not the naomi of the last decade who was frazzled,frustrated and a shadow of my childhood friend

I had reached the level of contentment she was now reaching much earlier and today we were just so happy for each other,we had taken different routes to get to where we were now she had persevered in her marriage i had to get thru a divorce and second marriage to reach that level.my marriage was good and strong,my kids were good healthy and smart,i had a good job and was doing what i loved developmental work and writing.

We were rich in heart and spirit and had a zeal for life.none of us could boast of having 1000 naira in our bank account on this particular day but we were content.

We had been through some really trying times but at this point in our lives the waters were calm and tranquil.

I have always believed in removing the smot from my eye before removing the log from someone elses eye.Naomi and i had another close friend whose marriage was on the rocks.Bolas marriage where do i start ok she had a degree but her womanising,arrogant husband did not believe in wives working,he was a multi millionaire but his wives were permanently cash strapped,she had inlaws that were impossible to deal with malicious and vindictive.Her co wives so difficult to live with i feared for my body each time i visited their house one of the cowives was aggressive.Her children were bullied incessantly by their step siblings.her life was no fun she was permanently miserable and visiting her was always depressing.

Over the years we had formed a kind of support group for each other ,we had 3 other friends in our support group and ironically all were now doing well in their lives except Bola,we were all worried about her but what could we do now that we hadnt done over the last 10years?

Naomis solution Bola should leave the marriage as their was a complete breakdown of the marriage in her view.This was not a new solution Bola had left the marriage several times but had always come back,what was different now was the fact that the husband wanted her to leave and she was saying no.

Her reason she had wasted 10 years on a miserable marriage so she wasnt going to give him the satisfaction of leaving.

2. She didnt trust her childrens welfare in the hands of the other wives.Personally i felt she had nothing to fall back on and was afraid of the unknown.This happens to everyone; men and women,i battled with the fear of change in my marriage too before i finally took the leap.Nothing ventured, nothing gained, the uncertainty and clinging on to bad relationships is amplified when the woman has children and has no source of income and cannot return to her parents.

Culture and tradition does not aid matters as divorce is not wanted in any culture.

I once met a lady from the eastern parts of Nigeria at a conference in lagos  who while discusssing the issue of broken marriages told me that hausa women were lucky as the process of divorce was easier and the stigma less than in Igbo land.I had always assumed things were easier for our Igbo sisters but by the time she explained i didnt envy them.upon my return to kaduna i was approached by an igbo woman who claimed her husband was trying to kill her,upon interviewing the husband counter allegations started flying,based on the knowledge gleaned from my discussions with the lady in lagos advising this second lady was easy i referred her to a lawyer and the police.I was not going to wait for one of the couple to kill the other.

Recently the internet was awash with the story of Titi who was killed by her husband in Lagos.Why breakdown of the marriage.

Back to the issue of Bola divorce may or may not be the answer.If not for the fact that Bola is a very religious person and murder a mortal sin,her husband would have been long dead.What i do think is that she needs a change of environment to assess things.She is so psychologically traumatised that logic defies her.in her present state of mind her current reasoning is not tenable.

A young man once brought me a book he had written titled I hate divorce,i was in court at the time and there were about 10 people with us ,i read the title and asked him if he was married he said no,he was in his early twenties and didnt seem to have a girlfriend.We talked for awhile and i learnt he was close to his mother and also close to the church .This informed his view of divorce.It took

me sometime to explain to him that divorce is not necessarily a bad thing.It depends on the causes, the parties and the end result one mans meat really is another mans poison. Advice to couples let divorce be the last resort after every other option has failed.

Defeminization of poverty

       DEFEMINIZATION OF POVERTY

Women are half the sky - Chinese proverb

Even if anyone disagrees with the above you must admit women are half of the world’s population if not more. Secondly history and life generally have not been kind to most women.  According to Brian Tracy the first rule to writing a book is for one to start with a message, Idea, story that you really want to share with other people. For years I have observed and absorbed people’s stories. From an early age  I learnt to listen and counsel people around me family, friends ,school mates but the greatest resource is my being a woman from a developing country who has had to face all kinds of obstacles some still insurmountable .How can I and other like minded individuals and groups uplift the lives of other women, promote their fundamental human rights ,protect their strengths and weaknesses ,preserve their dignity, change their mindset, empower them to play more active roles in improving their families, communities and nations.

I have an over abundance of ideas coursing through my mind and an even larger cache of ideas on how to improve the lives of womenfolk or at least reduce the challenges we face on a daily basis.

Rayuwa-life journal and this group are about women. Every kind of woman, Women who are also perhaps mothers, sisters, wives, friends, entrepreneurs, lovers, workers, gardeners, even grandmothers. In short-a person trying to be everything to everybody and still have a life.

   According to James Browns song, “it’s a mans world”.

      Life is hard enough, survival just is not easy but it’s doubly hard for women in     developing countries

 Women in some Developing Countries:

• traditionally own no property
• are generally illiterate
• lack basic health knowledge

Coupled with poverty, violence against women thrives in these conditions. When women are given a voice from knowledge gained in training and, with peer support:

• women's status advances and they are more involved in community decision making
• their families' diet and health improves
• they have fewer births
• they send their children to school in greater numbers

Feminization of Poverty

The “feminization of poverty” is a phenomenon that is unfortunately on the increase. Basically, women are increasingly the ones who suffer the most poverty.
‘’At the same time that women produce 75 to 90 percent of food crops in the world, they are responsible for the running of households. According to the United Nations, in no country in the world do men come anywhere close to women in the amount of time spent in housework. Furthermore, despite the efforts of feminist movements, women in the core [wealthiest, Western countries] still suffer disproportionately, leading to what sociologists refer to as the “feminization of poverty,” where two out of every three poor adults are women. The informal slogan of the Decade of Women became “Women do two-thirds of the world’s work, receive 10 percent of the world’s income and own 1 percent of the means of production.”

— Richard H. Robbins, Global Problems and the Culture of Capitalism, (Allyn and Bacon, 1999), p. 354

This then also affects children, which makes the dire situation even worse. For example, even in the richest country in the world, the USA, the poorest are women caring for children.^.

Poverty, trade and economic issues are very much related to women’s rights issues due to the impacts they can have. Tackling these issues as well also helps to tackle women’s rights issues. And, tackling gender issues helps tackle poverty-related issues.

Secretary Hillary Clinton speaking at the Peterson Institute for International Economics, said that her department will “invest” in the potential of women in developing countries to bring about economic and political change.

Women and girls are one of the world’s greatest untapped resources. Investing in the potential of women to lift and lead their societies is one of the best investments we can make. Studies  have shown that when a woman receives even just one year of schooling, her children are less likely to die in infancy or suffer from illness or hunger, and more likely to go to school themselves.

Clinton mentioned that women are more safe and less of a risk when given credit. She drew applause from the audience when she said:

Well, you know the proverb, “Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day, but teach a man to fish and he’ll eat for a lifetime”? Well, if you teach a woman to fish, she’ll feed the whole village.

21 WAYS TO MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE FAIL.

21 WAYS TO MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE FAIL

1. Have an exit route mapped before you marry.

2. Make your family and friends part of everything you do as a couple. Involve them in all decisions.

3. Marry for money, beauty, lust or status and make sure you have none of what you’re marrying

4. Be unhygienic, untidy, revolting and ill-mannered.

5. Stay out till all hours without consulting our spouse

6. Avoid mental and physical intimacy

7. Be guided in all you do by your village oracle

8. Disrespect each others parents and siblings to their faces.

9. Pick fights for no reason

10. Dole out the silent treatment for weeks at a time A.k.a keep malice.

11. Be greedy and avaricious. Be wasteful with your partners money, hide yours.

12. Aim higher than your spouses’ wealth and social bracket and always show them they are beneath your standard.

13. Nag, criticize complain every chance you get, in fact create opportunities if you don’t get any chances.

14. Flaunt your extra marital affairs.

15. Publicize your spouses’ shortcomings; wash all your dirty laundry in public. Dont fight without an audience.

16. Make sure all your friends are single; seek out all the hottest players and big babes in town to be your clique.

17. Drink smoke, swallow and inhale every available intoxicant, uppers and downers you can lay your hands on.

18. Forget God, parley with the devil. God is pro good. The devil is the master of discord and destruction join his posse.

19. Forget procreation, having babies ties you to your spouse, avoid pregnancy at all costs.

20. Watch movies packed with sorcery and killing of spouses and don’t hide your admiration for enchanting of spouses and killing them.

21. Shout; “I hate you” and “I wish you die” or “I will kill you” every chance you get.

If you try all these and you fail……….No be human being you marry! RUN!

Rayuwa-Life Online

A journal in Hausa & English which will avail everywoman a chance to have her voice heard, she can send in her life story, her thoughts and feelings on current affairs, style & fashion tips, motivational thoughts, recipes, prayers,formulas that have worked in her life,tips on managing her:home,career,business,marriage, divorce,children,self help,how to tips,how to create home businesses,business start up,management,promotion,finances,adverts.social calendar:naming ceremonies, engagements,weddings,parties,corporate events...the pulse of society,Everything and anything that touches the life of women. The literary section would feature prose from women and men that are unpublished their stories would be published and in some cases serialised,poetry,competitions organised in different sections of the journal. Do you have something to contribute lets talk.There are so many burning issues. you can contact us through this rayuwalife@ymail.com or sms 08098359992.

BEYOND FACEBOOK

BEYOND FACEBOOK It looks like every phone and tablet manufactured lately has a Facebook application on it. That’s good, Facebook is very interesting, and it’s informative, enlightening and educational. It also keeps you connected with friends, family and boosts your causes and businesses. It’s basically a one stop shop for people. Facebook allows its users make friends or catch up with old ones and keep a friends list. One can make posts; upload pictures and videos for their friend’s consumption and comment on friends’ status or activity. There is an online chat feature built in that allows multiple chat similar to sending sms short message service but on d Facebook platform. Every user has a wall where their posts and some of their activities on Facebook can be seen. Bored online? One can play games on Facebook , join various groups or create your own family, friends, religious, ethnic, social group or visit pages for celebrities, businesses or interesting people. Facebook has a general marketplace where anything and basically everything can be sold within legal limits. The market is global and or localized to ones location. Facebook is currently the hook up capital of the world as it gives opportunity for romance and relationships to develop. Facebook currently has about 900 million users spread all over the world. I get all my news on Fb, attend classes, found old friends from as far back as nursery school, buy and sell stuff, do advocacy keep in touch with my relatives and so many other things but lately I’ve felt the need to stay off Facebook a bit its getting too addictive. I also noticed that too many people rely only on Facebook as internet access. I ran a poll and found that for many people social networking on Facebook, twitter and 2go is the limit of their internet use One of the negative features of Facebook is that It’s quite addictive. It is also not suitable for children as they can be easily influenced and can make all kinds of undesirable connections. Many people claim it leads to infidelity and has destroyed many relationships, that may be true .I have seen and heard of people getting so engrossed in their cyber friends and relationships to the detriment of their real lives especially their marriages. Security on Facebook is also a problem as everything one does is recorded somewhere. Personal details could land in the wrong hands if the site ever gets hacked. I choose to look at the positive features of Facebook. Despite all its positive aspects its good for Facebook users to go check visit other sites and widen their web experience. Their are other social networking sites like Myspace,Hi5, Orkut, Xing, Google+, linkedin, Friendster, Twitter, Tagged etc. According to Alexa a rating service for websites the top 5 sites on the internet are 1-Google 2-Facebook 3-Youtube 4-Yahoo 5- Baidu. We will look at the top sites on the web next and how you can enjoy them.