21 WAYS TO MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE FAIL.

21 WAYS TO MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE FAIL

1. Have an exit route mapped before you marry.

2. Make your family and friends part of everything you do as a couple. Involve them in all decisions.

3. Marry for money, beauty, lust or status and make sure you have none of what you’re marrying

4. Be unhygienic, untidy, revolting and ill-mannered.

5. Stay out till all hours without consulting our spouse

6. Avoid mental and physical intimacy

7. Be guided in all you do by your village oracle

8. Disrespect each others parents and siblings to their faces.

9. Pick fights for no reason

10. Dole out the silent treatment for weeks at a time A.k.a keep malice.

11. Be greedy and avaricious. Be wasteful with your partners money, hide yours.

12. Aim higher than your spouses’ wealth and social bracket and always show them they are beneath your standard.

13. Nag, criticize complain every chance you get, in fact create opportunities if you don’t get any chances.

14. Flaunt your extra marital affairs.

15. Publicize your spouses’ shortcomings; wash all your dirty laundry in public. Dont fight without an audience.

16. Make sure all your friends are single; seek out all the hottest players and big babes in town to be your clique.

17. Drink smoke, swallow and inhale every available intoxicant, uppers and downers you can lay your hands on.

18. Forget God, parley with the devil. God is pro good. The devil is the master of discord and destruction join his posse.

19. Forget procreation, having babies ties you to your spouse, avoid pregnancy at all costs.

20. Watch movies packed with sorcery and killing of spouses and don’t hide your admiration for enchanting of spouses and killing them.

21. Shout; “I hate you” and “I wish you die” or “I will kill you” every chance you get.

If you try all these and you fail……….No be human being you marry! RUN!